Hmm. Yeah, Hell's frozen over.

It's been an eventful summer around the nakeysub household. Take last Saturday night, for example. We went to a local play party with the group we usually hang out with. Which is where I found myself sitting outside in the passenger seat of a friend's car, getting collared by him as hubby looked on with perverse glee on his face...

*film pauses, cue rewind and distorted backward sound noises*

Yes, what did you miss during my summer hiatus? I knew I said I would try to stay in better touch with you, my pervy blog peeps, but it's been an eventful summer including a nearly two-week vacation nakeysub and I took (and a well-needed one).

So how did I, little Miss No One's Topping MY Ass, get collared...by a friend of ours?

Let me clarify that technically, I'm not collared TO him. The tag on my collar has my husband's name on it with our friend as my "trainer." Let me also clarify that this is NOT a sexual relationship, it is strictly friendship and play, and it's not a full-time submissive relationship, it's a play collar.

I know, that still doesn't answer the question, does it?

Let me back up. We're friends with a married couple, Miss G and b. As you can guess by the capitalization, she is his Wife, Owner, and Mistress. They aren't 24/7 like nakeysub and I, but b is a heavy player. Heavy as in he's the sub you look at and say, "Holy crap!" For the past several months, I've been helping top b in scenes, and as we've all gotten to know each other better, and b and I have been emailing extensively back and forth. He and I are a lot alike in that he loves to play heavy, and I would love to be a heavy playing Top with him because nakeysub is NOT a heavy player. I have no desire for nakeysub to get into that because his pain threshold is non-existent.

I don't define myself as a switch, although I like it when nakeysub occasionally gets a little toppy in the bedroom. By toppy, I mean takes charge, although it'd never been a "scene" between us like that, and my "submission" to him ended at the bedroom door. nakeysub has a switchy side even though he is predominantly a slave. b is a slave, but he's also a definite switch with a sadistic side to match his masochistic side. So I thought perfect, a "BDSM buddy" mentor for nakeysub.

So over the past couple of months, as talks progressed, it was agreed at a private play party nakeysub and b (dubbed Mr. B during his Top time) would top me in a back room where we could have privacy because no way in hell am I at this point able to bottom in public.

If nothing else, the writer in me wanted to try it because yes, I know the dynamic from a Top's perspective, and the theory behind what a bottom goes through, but I'd never "bottomed" to anyone before. And in the 12+ years nakeysub and I have been together, I've never been naked before anyone besides my doctor and nakeysub. I wanted nakeysub to see a scene from a Top's perspective, because usually he's the one blindfolded, trussed, and getting his ass beat. I gave b (or Mr. B) full control of the scene other than if I redlighted it, and nakeysub was relegated to his assistant without safeword rights. (I knew nakeysub would likely cringe and want to call it, but I can take a hella lot of pain, unlike him.) The agreed scenario was a trainer helping a hubby train his wife to be more submissive. *snort!* Yeah, I know. LOL

I'm not a masochist, but...wow. The payout came the next day when I awoke with the most blissful, calm feeling. Normally I cannot shut down my brain. It's the blessing and the curse of being a writer. "The voices" are usually always working, and even if I'm doing something else, my brain is always spinning. But I felt so...zen.

My ass was literally purple from the implements he used on me (including a Violet Wand) but I bruise from a hard look anyway. But actually, I wasn't in any pain. It was the amazing calm I felt that changed my way of thinking.

Now keep in mind that b and I have basically adopted each other as family. LOL I call him Bro and he calls me Sis. And the way he approaches play as both a Top and a bottom fascinates me. And yes, as he'd playfully warned me early on, he's sucked me in to wanting to do things to and with him as a Top that I never imagined I'd ever want to do, much less enjoy. He's literally one of those heavy players who rarely calls red, and I'm one of the few women he's played with who he doesn't just totally wear out because, as he says, I don't hit like a girl. LOL He's into puppy play, and I used to train dogs. It's a perfect match made in hell. ROTF

I know, that still doesn't explain the collar.

Talks progressed to the point that the realization hit me that I want to push limits on both sides of the spectrum as a Top and a bottom. nakeysub is, understandably, not comfortable with "beating" his wife. But he has no problem turning Mr. B loose on me. (In fact, he's getting a perverse pleasure out of turning me over to him for "training." LOL) Miss G and b's hard limits are very similar to the ones nakeysub and I have, including no sex with others although a sensual element to the play is within bounds. And we're all also very adamant about not crossing hard limits, period, full stop. Meaning I don't have to worry about some "dom" trying to push me into doing something sexual in the middle of a scene and taking advantage of me.

I'm not bottoming in public for the foreseeable future, although at this rate, I realize saying "never" is stupid because a year ago, I'd NEVER bottom to someone, much less someone NOT my husband, and I'd NEVER let anyone else top nakeysub (another friend of ours who can wield a singletail helped me out with him at a party a few months ago, just using the singletail on him, plus I turned him over to Miss G at the party to serve her by getting her drinks and stuff like that). But I've got a deep, dark streak in me I never really paid much attention to before. And b has a deep, dark streak he'd love for someone to take advantage of. So for those purposes, I'm his evil cohort. LOL Our spouses are basically standing back and letting us go after each other, enjoying the show and knowing it means we'll both blow off steam of the dark, non-sexual kind before running to them to take care of the sexual steam we build up in the process. LOL

And on the non-BDSM side of it, it really does feel like I gained a brother (well, and a sister in Miss G). I never had a big brother. (Well, I had an adopted big brother, courtesy of my first step-mother and my biological father, but I haven't seen him in several decades and don't have any kind of relationship with him. We didn't grow up together, in other words.) I never had someone...protective like that who I could turn to for advice or to pick on or be playful with. Likewise, he never had a little sister, and we've just naturally fallen into this...really comfortable dynamic. And there's no bullshit sexual issues to worry about, so it just feels totally relaxed.

I've talked before how I do not trust well or easily. He didn't have it easy growing up either. But we've both kind of glommed onto each other in this comfortable, sibling dynamic. And fortunately for me, nakeysub understands and has no problem with what's going on, because he's enjoying having someone bigger than him to hide behind who LIKES to get beaten when I go batshit. LOL

nakeysub and b (or Mr. B, in this case) are planning a "voices quieting" session for me over this coming weekend. I have to admit I'm looking forward to it. There's a good kind of anxious fear as Mr. B has gone to great pains to start the mind fucks LOL. Now that I've thrown myself down the waterslide to hell, I'm curious to push my limits. I've been curious about things like being on the receiving end of mind fucks, CNC (without actual penetration, duh), knife play, and generally hard play. And my husband's the first to admit he's not interested in going down that path, although he has no problem with me doing it with b. nakeysub wants to play on the sexy, fun end of the scale, and that's fine, but that kind of play isn't going to "quiet the voices" and give me that zen feeling. Next weekend, we're all going to an event (Miss G has to be out of town unfortunately) where for most of the weekend, I'm going to be in charge and have a willing pup and a service slave at my side. (Yes, I'll be a very happy girl. LOL) But the two of them are also planning a few switchy times for me as well, from what I understand. *grin*

What's even funnier is b and I, in the space of the same email, we'll each flip back and forth between Top and bottom mode. I'm sure there are "won twue wayers" who will say, "Oh, you're not a TRUE Dominant, you're just a switch." Well, I still have to disagree with that label. I'm a situational switch. I won't play with anyone but b (topping or bottoming at this point) and nakeysub. b isn't "my" submissive any more than I'm his. We're play partners, and while we torment and tease each other, that's not the sum of our dynamic and only one aspect to our relationship because we're friends first. I'm not doing this because I want to "be submissive," I'm doing this because it's a means to an end to recapture that zen feeling.

Okay, so that still doesn't explain the collar, especially if I'm not his submissive.

I'm getting there.

Last week b was teasing me (our agreed upon play name for me is pet) that all good pets need a collar. (He has a collar he wears when not at work.) So he got me a chain collar and a specially made tag that actually looks like the one he wears, with my play name, my husband's name as owner, and Mr. B's name as trainer. LOL ("Well, if you get lost, how will anyone know who you belong to? All pets need a tag and a collar," he said with an evil laugh.)

I think it's just to make up for me making him wear dress shirts and neckties. (I keep telling him to think of a tie as a vanilla leash, but he's not buying it. LOL)

He put his head together with my husband, and so that's how, last Saturday night, this Mistress got collared. ROTF