Wonderful weekend.

Sir came down Saturday afternoon to help me celebrate my birthday a few days early. (And He brought me a cake! Yuuummmmmy!) His birthday is a couple of weeks before mine, and I owed Him whacks for His birthday. (Meaning since I was in pet mode, He gave ME whacks. LOL He's still going to give me more whacks for MY birthday. LOL) It was a wonderful evening. Hubby, Sir, and I played all afternoon, giving me much needed stress relief and beatings (which gives me pain relief from my fibro for a little while). Dinner with Hubby, Sir, and bff, and then back home for cake.

There had been talk earlier of Hubby and Sir frosting their pet... LOL Unfortunately, we were all too tired and had had to much food (and cake) already. So Hubby, who was exhausted, went to bed while Sir and I played some more before falling asleep on the couch.

Early this morning Sir and I woke up and moved to the bedroom, caught some more zzz's before He gave me my morning spanking and we all got moving for the day.

Fun was had by all. LOL

The Wheel has Turned

Hmm. I know, bad Mistress for not updating lately.

Quick version: collar's been locked on since Oct. 16th, 2010, I'm spending a lot more time as pet than I am as Mistress, Mr. B's wife gave Him carte blanche permission to do whatever He wants (yes, including THAT) in regards to our play, and Hubby (yes, I wrote that right) has also thrown himself headlong into this dynamic as well and pretty much given me carte blanche permissions with Mr. B.

Oh, and BFF is living with us again as of March of this year after spending six miserable months back in Ohio. LOL! (Gods it's good to have her back home!)

So how the hell did all of THIS happen?

Honestly? I'm not sure. LOL It just sort of...happened. And considering our impact play can do more to alleviate my chronic pain than any medication...I'm not complaining in the least. Add to that the fact that my medication has made it harder to orgasm, it's not difficult to see how trying to keep a pet happy can take two men. LOL (No, not like THAT, get yer minds outta da gutter. LOL Well, okay, there is some of that going on, but that's not what I meant.)

The more we play, the more I'm learning about myself and emotional triggers I have. Hubby is my loving, sweet, sexy man, and Mr. B is an evil fucking sadist. LOL (But the sweetest sadist you'll ever meet. LOL) I'm just kidding, because Mr. B has a sweet cuddly side too, but whereas he really IS a sadist, Hubby isn't. Hubby does NOT enjoy giving me pain. Mr. B thrives on it, especially knowing that the "good" pain he gives me can help the "bad" pain from my fibro go away for a little while, at least. Between the two of them, they're helping heal things I never realized until recently were emotionally holding me back in some ways in my life. And they're things that have contributed to why I clung so heavily to "Mistress" mode for so long as a safety blanket.

Life is good. Life is fun. Life is an adventure. And I know I've said this before but I'll try to post more often.

Happy Spanksgiving!

I know, bad Mistress for not updating My blog sooner.

Wow. Lots and lots of developments.

Long story short, troubling health issues progressed to a point over the summer where I was forced to go to the doctor and finally got a diagnosis. No, I'm not dying, but I now know I have a chronic illness I'll have with me until I die that explains years of miscellaneous issues I never realized were interconnected. The good news is while I can't manage all aspects of my illness with medication, the crippling fatigue is managed with medication, so at least I'm back to a functioning level again.

"So what about you and b?" you ask? Yes, I'm still playing with b, with blessings all around from both our spouses, although our relationship has deepened as we've discovered some aspects of our impact play actually help alleviate some of my chronic pain. b is mentoring nakeysub and yes, I've bottomed to Mr. B in public several times now. The running joke is that I never say "never" to b/Mr. B anymore because H/he has this sneaky way of turning my "nevers" into "yes pleases." LOL

I've spent most of the past couple of months trying to catch up from my health issues and get my metaphorical (and literal) legs back under me. There's some days I can barely drag myself out of bed, so I've learned to prioritize and not push myself. Which has been a really hard thing to do because I'm not used to being "lazy." I hate feeling helpless.

And actually, both hubby and Mr. B have been a source of sanity during this adjustment period for me, both of them encouraging and supportive and it's good to have them in my corner.

Yes, I'm working on more installments of "Cabron." :) Don't worry, I will finish the story. It's just taken me a while to get back to something approaching a fully functioning level and real-life had to take priority, as you can well imagine.

Have a safe holiday!

Hmm. Yeah, Hell's frozen over.

It's been an eventful summer around the nakeysub household. Take last Saturday night, for example. We went to a local play party with the group we usually hang out with. Which is where I found myself sitting outside in the passenger seat of a friend's car, getting collared by him as hubby looked on with perverse glee on his face...

*film pauses, cue rewind and distorted backward sound noises*

Yes, what did you miss during my summer hiatus? I knew I said I would try to stay in better touch with you, my pervy blog peeps, but it's been an eventful summer including a nearly two-week vacation nakeysub and I took (and a well-needed one).

So how did I, little Miss No One's Topping MY Ass, get collared...by a friend of ours?

Let me clarify that technically, I'm not collared TO him. The tag on my collar has my husband's name on it with our friend as my "trainer." Let me also clarify that this is NOT a sexual relationship, it is strictly friendship and play, and it's not a full-time submissive relationship, it's a play collar.

I know, that still doesn't answer the question, does it?

Let me back up. We're friends with a married couple, Miss G and b. As you can guess by the capitalization, she is his Wife, Owner, and Mistress. They aren't 24/7 like nakeysub and I, but b is a heavy player. Heavy as in he's the sub you look at and say, "Holy crap!" For the past several months, I've been helping top b in scenes, and as we've all gotten to know each other better, and b and I have been emailing extensively back and forth. He and I are a lot alike in that he loves to play heavy, and I would love to be a heavy playing Top with him because nakeysub is NOT a heavy player. I have no desire for nakeysub to get into that because his pain threshold is non-existent.

I don't define myself as a switch, although I like it when nakeysub occasionally gets a little toppy in the bedroom. By toppy, I mean takes charge, although it'd never been a "scene" between us like that, and my "submission" to him ended at the bedroom door. nakeysub has a switchy side even though he is predominantly a slave. b is a slave, but he's also a definite switch with a sadistic side to match his masochistic side. So I thought perfect, a "BDSM buddy" mentor for nakeysub.

So over the past couple of months, as talks progressed, it was agreed at a private play party nakeysub and b (dubbed Mr. B during his Top time) would top me in a back room where we could have privacy because no way in hell am I at this point able to bottom in public.

If nothing else, the writer in me wanted to try it because yes, I know the dynamic from a Top's perspective, and the theory behind what a bottom goes through, but I'd never "bottomed" to anyone before. And in the 12+ years nakeysub and I have been together, I've never been naked before anyone besides my doctor and nakeysub. I wanted nakeysub to see a scene from a Top's perspective, because usually he's the one blindfolded, trussed, and getting his ass beat. I gave b (or Mr. B) full control of the scene other than if I redlighted it, and nakeysub was relegated to his assistant without safeword rights. (I knew nakeysub would likely cringe and want to call it, but I can take a hella lot of pain, unlike him.) The agreed scenario was a trainer helping a hubby train his wife to be more submissive. *snort!* Yeah, I know. LOL

I'm not a masochist, but...wow. The payout came the next day when I awoke with the most blissful, calm feeling. Normally I cannot shut down my brain. It's the blessing and the curse of being a writer. "The voices" are usually always working, and even if I'm doing something else, my brain is always spinning. But I felt so...zen.

My ass was literally purple from the implements he used on me (including a Violet Wand) but I bruise from a hard look anyway. But actually, I wasn't in any pain. It was the amazing calm I felt that changed my way of thinking.

Now keep in mind that b and I have basically adopted each other as family. LOL I call him Bro and he calls me Sis. And the way he approaches play as both a Top and a bottom fascinates me. And yes, as he'd playfully warned me early on, he's sucked me in to wanting to do things to and with him as a Top that I never imagined I'd ever want to do, much less enjoy. He's literally one of those heavy players who rarely calls red, and I'm one of the few women he's played with who he doesn't just totally wear out because, as he says, I don't hit like a girl. LOL He's into puppy play, and I used to train dogs. It's a perfect match made in hell. ROTF

I know, that still doesn't explain the collar.

Talks progressed to the point that the realization hit me that I want to push limits on both sides of the spectrum as a Top and a bottom. nakeysub is, understandably, not comfortable with "beating" his wife. But he has no problem turning Mr. B loose on me. (In fact, he's getting a perverse pleasure out of turning me over to him for "training." LOL) Miss G and b's hard limits are very similar to the ones nakeysub and I have, including no sex with others although a sensual element to the play is within bounds. And we're all also very adamant about not crossing hard limits, period, full stop. Meaning I don't have to worry about some "dom" trying to push me into doing something sexual in the middle of a scene and taking advantage of me.

I'm not bottoming in public for the foreseeable future, although at this rate, I realize saying "never" is stupid because a year ago, I'd NEVER bottom to someone, much less someone NOT my husband, and I'd NEVER let anyone else top nakeysub (another friend of ours who can wield a singletail helped me out with him at a party a few months ago, just using the singletail on him, plus I turned him over to Miss G at the party to serve her by getting her drinks and stuff like that). But I've got a deep, dark streak in me I never really paid much attention to before. And b has a deep, dark streak he'd love for someone to take advantage of. So for those purposes, I'm his evil cohort. LOL Our spouses are basically standing back and letting us go after each other, enjoying the show and knowing it means we'll both blow off steam of the dark, non-sexual kind before running to them to take care of the sexual steam we build up in the process. LOL

And on the non-BDSM side of it, it really does feel like I gained a brother (well, and a sister in Miss G). I never had a big brother. (Well, I had an adopted big brother, courtesy of my first step-mother and my biological father, but I haven't seen him in several decades and don't have any kind of relationship with him. We didn't grow up together, in other words.) I never had someone...protective like that who I could turn to for advice or to pick on or be playful with. Likewise, he never had a little sister, and we've just naturally fallen into this...really comfortable dynamic. And there's no bullshit sexual issues to worry about, so it just feels totally relaxed.

I've talked before how I do not trust well or easily. He didn't have it easy growing up either. But we've both kind of glommed onto each other in this comfortable, sibling dynamic. And fortunately for me, nakeysub understands and has no problem with what's going on, because he's enjoying having someone bigger than him to hide behind who LIKES to get beaten when I go batshit. LOL

nakeysub and b (or Mr. B, in this case) are planning a "voices quieting" session for me over this coming weekend. I have to admit I'm looking forward to it. There's a good kind of anxious fear as Mr. B has gone to great pains to start the mind fucks LOL. Now that I've thrown myself down the waterslide to hell, I'm curious to push my limits. I've been curious about things like being on the receiving end of mind fucks, CNC (without actual penetration, duh), knife play, and generally hard play. And my husband's the first to admit he's not interested in going down that path, although he has no problem with me doing it with b. nakeysub wants to play on the sexy, fun end of the scale, and that's fine, but that kind of play isn't going to "quiet the voices" and give me that zen feeling. Next weekend, we're all going to an event (Miss G has to be out of town unfortunately) where for most of the weekend, I'm going to be in charge and have a willing pup and a service slave at my side. (Yes, I'll be a very happy girl. LOL) But the two of them are also planning a few switchy times for me as well, from what I understand. *grin*

What's even funnier is b and I, in the space of the same email, we'll each flip back and forth between Top and bottom mode. I'm sure there are "won twue wayers" who will say, "Oh, you're not a TRUE Dominant, you're just a switch." Well, I still have to disagree with that label. I'm a situational switch. I won't play with anyone but b (topping or bottoming at this point) and nakeysub. b isn't "my" submissive any more than I'm his. We're play partners, and while we torment and tease each other, that's not the sum of our dynamic and only one aspect to our relationship because we're friends first. I'm not doing this because I want to "be submissive," I'm doing this because it's a means to an end to recapture that zen feeling.

Okay, so that still doesn't explain the collar, especially if I'm not his submissive.

I'm getting there.

Last week b was teasing me (our agreed upon play name for me is pet) that all good pets need a collar. (He has a collar he wears when not at work.) So he got me a chain collar and a specially made tag that actually looks like the one he wears, with my play name, my husband's name as owner, and Mr. B's name as trainer. LOL ("Well, if you get lost, how will anyone know who you belong to? All pets need a tag and a collar," he said with an evil laugh.)

I think it's just to make up for me making him wear dress shirts and neckties. (I keep telling him to think of a tie as a vanilla leash, but he's not buying it. LOL)

He put his head together with my husband, and so that's how, last Saturday night, this Mistress got collared. ROTF

Why I love my husband.

Knowing I am crampy today (first day of THAT time of the month), and had a crappy day (Tax Day, 'nuff said, even though there was more than that), nakeysub made a stop at the store on the way home and brought home...donuts. Not crappy donuts either, but the glazed yeast donuts I can go nommy nom nom on.

I'm not normally a binge kind of gal, but the first day or so of my period, nakeysub is usually in self-preservation mode and throws things like really good imported dark chocolate or...donuts...at me.

Gods, I love this man!

Cabron (Pt. 5)

(Click here to read previous episodes of "Cabron.")

Copyright (C)2010. Unauthorized Duplication Prohibited. (Link to my blog, don't be a douchy dick and post it anywhere else. No, you do NOT have permission to reprint this! No, this is NOT a public domain story.)

Cabron (Pt. 5)

I thought about Charles all that night. Including the hour I spent using my Hitachi Magic Wand on myself to take the urge off the sensual ache the memory of his fandamntastic footrub brought to mind.

I wanted him.

I'd be lying if I denied it.

Could I be this lucky? After a string of failed relationships with guys who couldn't be strong enough for me at the same time they were submissive, that maybe I'd literally stumbled across the perfect man?

I sure as hell hoped so.

I didn't dress too fancy. I wanted to have a wide mix of options. I wore nice dark jeans, heels, a decent blouse. He showed up apparently fresh from work. Khakis, light blue chambray dress shirt, and a tie.

Mmm. Nice!

I love a man in a tie.

He got out of his car, smiling behind his sunglasses, and walked around to my driver's door where he opened it and stood, patiently waiting for me to get out. I took my time and he didn't show the slightest bit of irritation. I held up my hand to him and he took it, gently brushing a sensuous kiss across my knuckles.

"Hello, Mistress. You look very nice."

"Thank you. So do you."

"Would you prefer me to drive, or would you rather take your car?"

He drove a new Lexus sedan. I assumed he had insurance. "You can drive me in my car." He quickly locked his and hurried around to the passenger side of my car to open the door for me. He waited until I was completely tucked inside, and he verified the fact, to close the door.

I liked that. Didn't even have to tell him.

Once he was behind the wheel and buckled in, he turned to me. "Where to, Mistress?"

That word, rolling from his lips, had me hot and wet already. I felt like saying take me home, but I didn't want to rush things.

"Do you know where the Columbia is on the Circle?"

He nodded.

"There."

"I love that place."

He took off and we talked. Before we reached St. Armand's Circle, I said, "In front of others in vanilla settings, for now, you may call me Ma'am instead of Mistress."

"Yes, Mistress."

I reached over and squeezed his thigh. "Are you wearing underwear?"

He looked startled. "Was I supposed to?" Then he grinned.

I laughed, harder and louder than I had in a long time. "You and I are going to have a lot of fun."

"I think you're right."

We had a wonderful dinner and talked for three hours. He offered his arm for me to hold as we walked back to my car. I didn't have to prompt him to open doors, he never made me wait. We discussed everything under the sun from politics to religion and music, yet still we failed to scare the other off. Before he started my car, I could see in the light from a streetlamp that he wanted to say something.

"What is it?"

He turned to me. "I had a lot of fun tonight. I really hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did."

I offered him a smile. "Believe me, I did."

"Do you allow for vanilla time in your relationships?"

"Of course. I also demand my partner has a mind and an opinion. You don't have to agree with me to respect and honor me. It's how the disagreeing is done I might take issue with. I don't want a robot. If I wanted a mindless pet I'd get a dog."

"Do you allow spontaneous displays of affection?"

I smiled. "Of course."

He leaned in and kissed me, one hand slipping behind my neck to gently hold me in place. I melted into his heat, wanting more, wondering how much the fine would be for sex in a car in public and not caring at that point. When he finally released me, my face felt flushed and I had trouble catching my breath.

"Thank you, Mistress," he hoarsely said before sitting back and starting the car.

Before he could shift it into drive, I stayed his hand. Then my hand slipped between his legs where I lowered his zipper.

He closed his eyes and softly moaned as my fingers crept inside, exploring. He felt hot and hard and while perhaps not quite as long as I first suspected, his cock was pleasantly thick.

No surprise, he kept himself nicely shaved.

"Oh, my dear, sweet boy," I said. "I think I'd like to see this." I glanced around. "Now."

Without opening his eyes, he whispered, "Yes, Mistress," and quickly unfastened his belt, then his trousers. Fully exposed to me, my mouth watered. I wanted to go down on him right then and there--hey, Dominant doesn't mean I can't enjoy sucking a cock--but that might be pushing my luck. Instead I grabbed him and slowly stroked, drawing another moan from him.
"Do you have to be anywhere tonight?"

"No, Mistress."

"Let's go get your car, and you can follow me home." At that, his eyes opened and he looked at me.

I grinned. "Leave your pants open. I want to be able to play with you."

He grinned. "Yes, Mistress."

###

Copyright (C)2010. Unauthorized Duplication Prohibited. (Link to my blog, don't be a douchy dick and post it anywhere else. No, you do NOT have permission to reprint this! No, this is NOT a public domain story.)

Back from the dead...again.

Sorry, my pervy little blog peeps. Life tends to get in the way. Between running a business, family, and real life, sometimes I have to prioritize. I didn't realize it'd been this long since I last posted, however. Sorry about that.

I didn't want to leave you hanging with "Cabron," so I'm trying to get more posted in advance so even if I don't have time to post it'll auto-post for you.

Cabron (Pt. 4)

(Click here to read previous episodes of "Cabron.")

Copyright (C)2010. Unauthorized Duplication Prohibited. (Link to my blog, don't be a douchy dick and post it anywhere else. No, you do NOT have permission to reprint this! No, this is NOT a public domain story.)

Cabron (Pt. 4)

Charles and I chatted for a while longer. "So hypothetically speaking," I started, "if I was to put you into a chastity device, you would wear it. Correct?"

He nodded. "Correct. But this pet best responds to positive reinforcement, not negative." He grinned. "I am not a man who gets more submissive the hornier he gets. The hornier I get, the more demanding I get. I am perfectly happy to be led around by my cock as long as I am fairly rewarded."

"I do issue punishments."

"As long as they are not arbitrary, and you have clearly defined the rules in advance, I will willingly submit to punishment."

"Hmm. You're not one of those guys who plays weasel semantics games, are you?"

"No. If you set out a rule, I follow it. I would hope at first there will be a little leeway while I learn how you wish things to be done."

"Windows, dishes, floors, clothes?"

"I love to iron."

I felt a jolt of sensual electricity flow through me at his playful smirk. "You are truly a kinky man, aren't you?"

"I've been told that."

I wanted to get to know him much better. "I need a full medical disclosure from you. Meaning I need permission to talk to your doctor."

"And I would expect the same courtesy from you."

"Collar?"

"At home and in situations like this, yes. But at work I am expected to maintain a certain decorum. I would wear whatever day collar you deemed appropriate that would not jeopardize my job."

"What made you decide you were submissive?"

He shrugged. "I had an epiphany one day. My wife, understandably, wasn't able to change her ways to meet my needs. Looking back, I can see how that caused friction between us from the very beginning."

"You cheat on me, I'll have your balls."

"You'll find me to be a very devoted pet. Or knight. Or slave."

"Or husband?"

He smiled. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You don't know yet if I'll meet your needs."

I squeezed his cock with my toes again and his composure faltered just a little as his hands paused and his eyes dropped closed for a second. He let out a soft moan before he forced himself to continue massaging my foot. His eyes gleamed with passion and mischief.

"If you're any good with that, and you put your money where your mouth is in terms of what you want to be, then I have a feeling you'll meet my needs just fine."

"Then may I take you out for dinner tomorrow night, Mia?"

"You have a phone?"

He handed it to me and went back to massaging my feet. I called my own phone so I'd have his number and handed it back to him. "You can store my number." He quickly did. "I live near U.S. 41 and Bahia Vista. Meet me in the parking lot there at the corner, by the Starbucks, at five-thirty. We'll ride together from there."

He grinned. "I'll be honest, I thought it would take me months to meet a woman who interests me as much as you do."

"Well, guess what? It's taken me years to meet someone who rings my bell the way you do." I sat up and crooked my finger at him for him to lean in close. I gave him a kiss, and felt like asking him to fuck my brains out right there. I actually slipped into his arms, straddling him and wrapping my arms and legs around him as we kissed. He let me take control, giving just enough back I knew he wouldn't be wimpy in bed.

"Now kiss me hard," I ordered.

He did, his tongue nearly melting me as it stroked and explored mine.

Goddamn, I wanted him. Really wanted him.

I finally leaned back and looked him in the eye. "If I find out you're playing me, I'll castrate you myself."

"I won't disappoint you, Mia."

I studied him. "You may call me Mistress."

His eyes brightened as widely as his smile. "Thank you, Mistress."

###

Copyright (C)2010. Unauthorized Duplication Prohibited. (Link to my blog, don't be a douchy dick and post it anywhere else. No, you do NOT have permission to reprint this! No, this is NOT a public domain story.)

HNT

Me getting ready for last Saturday's play party. I need to put up a post about that.

Thoughts on "Domme by Default"

I re-read one of my favorites the other night, "Domme by Default" by Tymber Dalton. (See the link in the sidebar if you're interested.)

I'm a voracious reader. I just finished her "Safe Harbor" and wanted to re-read this one, because frankly, I love "The Reluctant Dom" but I bawl my friggin' eyes out every time I read it.

I've seen a lot of books where you can tell the writer knows shit about BDSM or D/s or M/s dynamics. They're writing something that they researched for all of five minutes, or got their ideas by reading other authors who haven't done the research either.

I try to refer books to you, my pervy blog peeps, that I like which either realistically depict the dynamics, or that depict it well enough that it doesn't make me toss the book (or my e-reader) against the wall. (I can't refer you to my own books, duh, the whole can't out myself thing. *LOL*)

"Domme by Default" is one of those books that's just yummy. There's a fantasy versus reality aspect to a 24/7 relationship that Dalton captured perfectly, and I know because I've FELT that same damn thing. Like everything was dumped on my shoulders, why the fuck should I have to deal with this?

But I also loved the way the couple grew, give and take, until both embraced roles not only for themselves, but for each other as well. Because that's what does happen in reality, it happened for us and from other blogs I know it happens to others as well.

It also put me in the mood to dig out our strap-on toy, which hasn't seen nearly enough action lately. Hmm...

'Scuse me, I need to go take care of something.

*evil grin*